Why “all or nothing” never works

Hello and happy
Feel-Good Monday!

This is where we share our favorite tips, tricks, secrets, and ways to “think like a healthy person” so that you can find your own delicious path to healthy living.

“Feel-Good Mondays” are meant to help us get back into that place of feeling energized, nourished, and ready to take inspired action for the week ahead.

I had a consultation with a really motivated woman in her 40’s (I’ll call her “Jana”).

Jana came to us because she had put on 35 pounds in the past year, was noticing increasing body aches and pains as a result, she was more sedentary than she intended to be, and the stress/comfort-eating was making it really tough to get back on track.

Jana felt like she couldn’t participate as fully in her life as she wanted to. She wasn’t as engaged in her life as she used to be. And she found herself trying to avoid the mirror as much as possible.

Jana confided in me that she had lost weight on her own in the past, but was finding it increasingly difficult to find the motivation or inspiration to do it again. She was feeling trapped and stuck, and desperately wanted to find a way out.

Have you ever felt that way? I can tell you that I definitely have.

Back when I weighed almost 50lbs more and did every diet known to man (and woman), it felt like I was in a constant “all or nothing” loop when it came to losing weight and actually keeping it off. It felt frustrating, overwhelming, and ultimately defeating.

When I inquired further about why she was finding it so hard to lose the weight on her own, Jana told me that in the past, she had lost weight when she was on-plan and being “perfect” with her diet, but that she found it impossible to maintain that perfection long-term.

It never felt sustainable, and she admitted that she was deeply fearful to start any new program because she didn’t know how she could stay “perfect” on an ongoing basis. At the same time, Jana knew she couldn’t keep going as she had been. She needed a way out, and she wanted the support to get there. Jana wasn’t ready to give up. She just needed the right solution.

I was practically applauding when Jana told me all of this, and I was bursting with excitement to let her know that there WAS, indeed, a way out, and that she was about to give up dieting forever (while getting all the results – and then some – that she was looking for).

What I shared with Jana is the dirty little secret that diets don’t work.

The diet industry certainly doesn’t want us to know that. But if you’ve ever dieted in your life, you know that the “all or nothing” approach that most diets take usually doesn’t last very long. We feel motivated for a day…a week…maybe even a month or two. But at some point, we decide we really want that chocolate chip cookie…or the slice of pizza…Or maybe we just feel really sick of counting calories, measuring everything every day, or calculating every meal and snack and morsel in terms of points.

It gets pretty darn tiring.

Losing weight – and keeping it off – comes down to a combination of two things: 

1) Personalizing and customizing your diet for you. There is no one-size-fits-all plan out there. Finding your right diet is a personal thing (depending on preference, metabolism, season, genetics). It has to be something that gets you the results you want while feeling sustainable and, most importantly, enjoyable.

2) We have to navigate and work through the emotional landmines that can be so connected to our food choices (stress, anxiety, loneliness, fear, and a slew of other emotions — even the “good” ones! — can cause us to eat emotionally). We can work on the technical aspects of our diet, but without the emotional work, our “healthy eating plans” usually don’t last all that long.

If you feel stuck and trapped in a body that just doesn’t feel like your own, and you want a way out, I want you to know that there is a solution. You don’t have to feel this way forever. And we’re here to help you get there, together, when you’re ready to take that first step.

You can feel good every day. And we’re here to support you.

Love,

 

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